What I Miss Most
by Veritas Found
Summary: The Doctor pops by Adam's for a little heart-to-heart.


**Title:** "What I Miss Most"

**Author:** Wish Wielder

**Fandom:** Doctor Who

**Pairing / Character Focus:** (Whiny Emo Teenager Tenth) Doctor, Adam cameo; obligatory Doctor x Rose and unrequited Martha x Doctor references

**Challenge / Series:** N/A

**Theme / Prompt:** N/A

**Word Count:** 1,922

**Rating:** T / PG-13 (for some language)

**Summary:** The Doctor pops by Adam's for a little heart-to-heart.

**Notes / Spoilers:** Shortly after Voyage of the Damned with references up to that point. Crackfic that I'm totally blaming Aku on – though the Whiny Teenage Emo!Doc is partially Doctor Why's fault (and partially my need for some cathartic venting). Aku, this one's for you. And Uncle Ten's pinstriped mug; may it mourn its losses accordingly.

**Disclaimer:** "Doctor Who" and all respective properties are © the BBC. Megan D. (Wish Wielder) does not, has never, nor will ever own "Doctor Who".

**_"What I Miss Most"_**

Some days, I think the universe hates me.

First there's Gallifrey. More specifically, the fact that I had to be born there. Or at least born there as a mutt in the most xenophobic society ever to grace the universe with its presence – and oh yes, it was gracing. Superior stick-up-their-arses that made my life a living hell most of the time and had a fancy for, y'know, _banishing_ me. That was always fun.

That isn't to say that I didn't like the Time Lords. Well, not all of them, at least. Most of them were pretty swell. No, wait – not swell. Don't like that word. Brilliant – most were pretty brilliant. Like Romana. I really liked Romana – most days. But then the universe came into play again and whisked her off into e-space, and when it finally brought her back she had to, y'know, _die_. Like all of those bloody Time Lords in their big fancy citadel and -

And that's another thing. I don't like hurting people, and I certainly don't like killing them. So why, I would like to know, does the universe decide I have to commit genocide? On my own people? Sure, they were pompous and annoying and most of them I would have gladly chucked into a black hole somewhere for all that banishing and such, but they were still _my_ people! Now it's just lonely, what with all my not-really-staying companions and no more Time Lords to occupy my mind.

Oh, sure, there was that one. The Master. But really, should he even count? That was just a cruel joke. Honestly, it's like the universe finally wants to be nice to you and give you a nice little present, only SURPRISE! It's evil! And not only is it evil, but it's going to make your life a living hell _again_ (in true Time Lord fashion) and turn you into an old man Gollum thing. And he'd keep you hostage in a tent with a dog bowl and then a birdcage and he'd go around you all day just making you feel lower than dirt but it's ok 'cause at least your head isn't empty anymore. But then when you're back to normal and thinking 'Hey, he can come with me on my TARDIS and sure I'll have to keep him locked up all the time but at least he'd be there and alive!' the wife – his wife, mind, not yours (a whole other story in and of itself) – has to go and shoot him, and hello, you're back to being alone again!

But at least I have friends. Well, some friends. Of course, I usually only piss them off. Or get them killed. Or nearly killed (but hey, at least I don't make them immortal like _some_ people I know).

But some do die, oh yes. Like...Astrid. Yes, Astrid – she was new. Lovely girl from Stow – met her on the Titanic. Well, a spaceliner named after the Titanic. Big mess, and she died in it. Pity that – I would have liked her to come along with me. Which again only proves how much the universe hates me. Finally find someone new, and it up and kills her!

Sarah Jane ended up hating me. Well, I say hate but it's more like she was really mad at me – can't blame her, though, what with how I ditched her. Not entirely my fault, but I was told I could've been nicer about it. Still, we're good friends now – she wants me to come 'round for tea someday. Don't know if I'll ever be doing that. So maybe the universe doesn't hate me as much with Sarah Jane, but oh did it ever the first time I met her again! I have a strict 'Never Let the New Ones Meet the Formers' rule now thanks to _that_ headache. Still don't know why they were laughing at me like that...

'Course, I did get Jack killed, but he doesn't really count, what with Rose bringing him back and everything. Like I said: I may get them killed, but at least I don't make them immortal! But still, Jack's proof the universe hates me. Like that time I finally forgave him for being all, y'know, _wrong_ and asked him to come along and then he just went and turned me down. And _then_ revealed that he's this big head thing that, y'know, _died_ right in front of me after telling me this horribly enigmatic message about how the Master was still alive but _no_, instead of just _saying he was still alive_ he had to go all "You are not alone" on me and honestly, how much hassle would that stupid old Face have saved me if he had just _told me straight-out?_

Ah, well. That's Jack for you.

It was the Daleks that killed him, though. Oh, yes – apparently they were still alive. See, that right there? _That's_ the real proof the universe hates me. Daleks. Ruddy Daleks, every time.

I committed genocide to, y'know, rid the universe of the Daleks. You'd think it'd at least thank me for that by making sure they were all dead. But no, first it's Utah and then it's Satellite Five and that was...oooh, I didn't care if the universe hated me then – I hated it. All those Daleks, all those people dead – and then Rose goes and absorbs the bloody time vortex and I end up regenerating to save her! Not that I mind the new face, really, but still – the regeneration sickness was a nightmare!

Still, I thought they were gone then. Gone and done with and then...they had to come back, because they _always_ come back. Marched right through the Void, and...then they took her with them. Rose.

That...we were on mutual hate that day. I thought after the Time War the universe was finally going to be nice to me, the day I met Rose. Here she was, this bright little ball of pink and yellow and she wanted to come with me. Wanted me, despite the ears and cynicism and brokenness and...everything, really. She didn't care – just wanted to be there. You know, she promised me forever once? More than once. I almost let myself believe she'd keep it, too.

But then the universe let the Daleks back, and the Cybermen, and they took her away from me.

What? No! No, she's not...not dead. Just...trapped. Away. Another universe. Yes.

Oh, that's...that's...no, she's with her family. Well, her mum and sometimes-boyfriend and parallel dad. But that's another point! Why would the universe make a woman like Jackie Tyler if it didn't hate me?! She's...she's...she slaps me! Er, slapped! A lot! And it hurt!

Oh, and then _right after_ I lost Rose I had to deal with the Bride from Hell – and she slapped me, too! Oh, yes, she made a lovely bride and all, but that's besides the point. All that shouting and slapping and blimey, you'd think I'd done something seriously offensive to the universe what with how I had to put up with her.

And then I met Martha, and she was brilliant, yeah, but she fell in love with me! And why, please tell me, does the universe make them all fall in love with me? Jack, Rose, Martha – I didn't so much mind Rose (or Jack, but that's besides the point), 'cause I loved her, too, but Martha...I already loved someone, and I know I had to make it painfully obvious, but _no_ – she had to love me, too! No good came from that mess, honestly. I think that's why she left, in the end.

And her mother, too. All mothers. The universe hates me and lets me know through mothers who slap me. Even _my own mother_ slapped me!

...of course I have a mother! Everyone...well, all right, fine – most Time Lords don't have mothers. Not in the sense you humans do, at least. But I did, and my point is she was right there with the Mothers Who Slap the Doctor Club!

But anyway, even after all that, the Daleks came back _again_. 1930s New York, trying to make human-Dalek hybrids. Only four left – the Cult of Skaro. They killed each other off in the end, but even after that...one still survived, because one _always_ survives. And all it takes is one.

Still, I could deal with that. I could deal with the sometimes-not-so-dead Time Lords and the always-coming-back-Daleks and the promising-forever-but-never-really-delivering companions and the slapping mothers and the not-really-staying companions that happen to fall for you and all that much better if...well, Gallifrey. Yes, Gallifrey – my planet.

No, I said I didn't always like its people. The planet, though...Rassilon, I miss that planet. Burnt orange skies and silver trees and crimson grass and...but it's not really the planet I miss most. No, I miss the tea.

Nothing makes you feel better after a Why Does the Universe Hate Me?! Day than a good cuppa – and blimey, no cuppa is better than a cuppa of Gallifreyan banana tea. Only planet in the whole big me-hating universe that has banana tea, and I had to destroy it in the Time War. Ran out ages ago – meant to pick some up, and then I was called back for war and it just...ran out. So no more banana tea for me, but I still have my favorite mug. Rose found it for me – matches my suit. But...it's not as nice without banana tea in it.

- W -

Adam blinked at the man sitting across from him, hunched over and staring at his clasped hands like they were the universe he had spent the past hour ranting over. The visit itself had been rather unexpected – he still didn't fully believe this man was really the Doctor (honestly, changing your face? Some things really were just impossible) – but...

"Doctor," he said, leaning forward and looking at the man over his folded hands. The Doctor looked up at him, the sulk still prominent on his features. "All that bad that's happened to you...losing Rose, of all things...and it's tea. You miss tea. You don't even miss Rose? _Rose?_"

The Doctor's eyes narrowed on him, and he knew he had struck a nerve.

"Well, of course I miss Rose! Blimey, weren't you even listening? The point is that I might not miss her as much if I still had my favorite tea," he said. He paused, looking up as his frown deepened. "No, wait...no, I'd still miss her as much. Maybe it'd just be more bearable if...no, no, it wouldn't. I just miss my tea!"

"Doctor..." Adam said, eyes closing as an annoyed snarl quirked his lip. He pointed to the TARDIS that had crashed into his mum's table. "...get out."

The Doctor frowned, pouting a bit before shoving himself off the sofa and stalking over to the TARDIS.

"Fine," he said. "Last time I check up on an old friend for a chat."

"Should've gone to Sarah Jane," Adam called, rolling his eyes. The Doctor paused in the doorway of the TARDIS, and Adam quirked a brow at him as he turned back.

"Oh, and Adam?" he asked, and Adam's brow raised a bit higher. The Doctor grinned at him, all manic smiles, and snapped.


End file.
